- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
- Shut up, all of you just shut UP!
- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- Sell Girl Scout cookies.
- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
- Shave.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
- Got enough air in there?
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
- Noogie patrol coming!
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- One word: Flatulence!
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
- Do Tai Chi exercises.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
- I've got new socks on!
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
- Oh, not now, motion sickness!
- Give religious tracts to each passenger.
- Meow occassionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
- Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say:
- mmmm...tasty!
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
- Start a sing-along.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask:
- is that your beeper?
- Play the harmonica.
- Shadow box.
- Say "Ding!" at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Bring a chair along.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger:
- Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
- Blow spit bubbles.
- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Announce in a demonic voice:
- I must find a more suitable host body.
- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say:
- I think it's getting larger.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler:
- Bad touch!
