Military Jokes

What goes cackle, cackle, boom?
→ A witch in a minefield.

How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
→ They both wear stripes!

- 1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?

- 2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

Why did the python do national service?
→ He was coiled up!

Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

"Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.

"When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites."

"Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it."

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
→ Join the Hare Force.

Why did the pig join the Army?
→ He heard the food was a mess.

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?
→ He loved to sing, "Oinkers Aweight"

While practicing autorotations during a military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.

As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that took place...

- Tower: Sir, do you need any assistance?

- Cobra: I don't know Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet.

Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students.

The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind?"