Police Jokes

What does a witch do if her broom is stolen?
→ She calls the flying squad!

Why did the updraft get pulled over?
→ It was speeding in a high shear zone

Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished?
→ In a high pressure cell

Why did the tornado get arrested?
→ For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder

Why was the lion-tamer fined?
→ He parked on a yellow lion!

- Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase?

- Driver: I love to travel.

A police officer was amazed to see a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read:

- To Seattle.

- What are you doing with that? - asked the police officer.

- I'm walking to Seattle - said the hiker, and I don't want to lose my way.

- Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away!

- Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen.

- Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked:

- Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?

- Yes - the golfer responded.

- Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?

- Yes, I did. How did you know? - he asked.

- Well - said the policeman very seriously.

- Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...:

- I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.

Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
→ The police.