Red Indian Jokes

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked:

- Is this winter to be cold?

The man on the phone responded:

- This winter was going to be quite cold indeed.

So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again:

- Is it going to be a VERY cold winter?

- Yes - the man replied:

- it's going to be a very cold winter.

So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again:

- Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?

- Absolutely - the man replies:

- the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!

Spell Indian tent with two letters.
→ TP.

Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play "Cowboys and Indians."
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said:

- Tomorrow rain.

The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said:

- Tomorrow storm.

The next day there was a hailstorm.

- This Indian is incredible - said the director.

He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him.

- I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow - said the director.

- and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?

The Indian shrugged his shoulders.

- Don't know - he said.

- Radio is broken.

Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races.
So they called it Running Dummy.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
→ They had reservations.

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?
→ The Indy 500.

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop.

The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing.

The tribesman began to speak:

- woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, Four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h.

- That's amazing - exclaimed the father.

- You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground?

- No - said the old tribesman.

- They just ran over me five minutes ago!

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.

He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking:

- What are you going to do with the money?

- Take jewelry to city and sell it - said the old man.

- What have you got for collateral? - queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

- Don't know of collateral.

- Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?

- Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup.

The banker shook his head:

- How about livestock?

- Yes, I have a horse.

- How old is it?

- I don't know; it has no teeth.

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills:

- Here's the money to pay loan - he said, handing the entire amount including interest.

- What are you going to do with the rest of that money?

- Put it in my pocket.

- Why don't you deposit it in my bank? - he asked.

- I don't know of deposit.

- Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it.

The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked:

- What you got for collateral?