An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events.
Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo, while expert at caring…
Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.
- Go and clean out the aquarium - he was told.
Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do.
- Throw them to the lions - said the head keeper - the lions will eat anything.
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
- Not very long - answered the Mexican.
- But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more? - asked the tourist.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The tourist asked:
Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World Cup in England.
At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three New Zealanders buy just one ticket between them.
- How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket? - asks one of the Aussies.
- Watch and learn - answers one of the New Zealanders.
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of…
A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and a passenger. The passenger happens to be George W Bush. (Why? Maybe, he was on his way to check on the coca plant life in South America!) The masked gunman held a gun to the pilot's head and said:
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise…
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise…
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy.
The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.
Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died.
They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds.
God wanted to know three things:
- Who are you? What did you do? What did people think of you?
The first coach said:
- I'm Joe Paterno. I coached Penn State from 1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl…
