Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:

- Shut up, all of you just shut UP!

- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

- Sell Girl Scout cookies.

- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

- Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:

- Got enough air in there?

- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper:

- Noogie patrol coming!

- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

- One word: Flatulence!

- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

- Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:

- I've got new socks on!

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:

- Oh, not now, motion sickness!

- Give religious tracts to each passenger.

- Meow occassionally.

- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

- Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

- Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say:

- mmmm...tasty!

- Leave a box between the doors.

- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

- Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask:

- is that your beeper?

- Play the harmonica.

- Shadow box.

- Say "Ding!" at each floor.

- Lean against the button panel.

- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

- Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger:

- Wanna see wha in muh mouf?

- Blow spit bubbles.

- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice:

- I must find a more suitable host body.

- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

- Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say:

- I think it's getting larger.

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler:

- Bad touch!