Most commented jokes

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb!

Please try the following:

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

why do women have legs?have you ever seen the mess that slugs leave behind!??

What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre?

A spinning wheel!

What is the difference between a wicker basket and a wicker box?

A wicker basket is what little red riding hood took to grandma's house.

A wicker box is what Elmer Fudd did to little red riding hood.

A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical duringintermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.

She smiled and gushed, "Well, hello there Doc." and kept right on going.

After a moment's pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, "Don't worry dear, that's just a young lady I knowprofessionally."

Without missing a beat, his wife asked, "Hers or Yours ?"

Whats the difference between pink and purple? Your grip.

How to Satisfy a Woman Every TimeCaress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix,empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe,humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug,coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate,nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply,accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm,lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate,attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend,coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize,detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace,accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead,borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch,crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for,dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine,cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate,enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite,taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab onthe ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey,hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care ifI die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize,humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the freeworld, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble,drip, dry, knead, puree, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate,indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize andworship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again. How to Satisfy a Man Every TimeShow up naked.

A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five fingers.

"Oh darling!" she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?"

"No", says the old fellow, "it means that you can pick one out."