Business Jokes

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
→ He prawned everything!

Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of no-frills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane.
Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.

- Do you always carry such heavy luggage? - she sighed.

- No more - the man said.

- Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires?
→ Because he liked to see new blood in the business.

- Customer: I'd like a watch that tells time.

- Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time?

- Customer: No, you have to look at it.

How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
→ Collect!

What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?
→ "Who said talk is cheap?"

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
→ Fiver side!

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?
→ The bored room!