Clean Jokes — best jokes

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
→ A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

What do you call a very rude bird?
→ A mockingbird!

Where do birds meet for coffee?
→ In a nest-cafe!

How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
→ With it's sparrowchute!

What is green and pecks on trees?
→ Woody Wood Pickle!

What happened when the owl lost his voice?
→ He didn't give a hoot!

What do you call a Scottish parrot?
→ A Macaw!

What do you call a bird that lives underground?
→ A mynah bird!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
→ A great walkie-talkie!

What is white and flies across the sky?
→ The coming of the Lord.

What is the difference between a wicker basket and a wicker box?
→ A wicker basket is what little red riding hood took to grandma's house.
→ A wicker box is what Elmer Fudd did to little red riding hood.

What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
→ Shark absorbers!

What is the most famous shark?
→ William Sharkspeare!

How do you shoot a great white shark?
→ Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun!

If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
→ Loch Jaws.

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
→ They go sharkers!

What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
→ Squid pro quo!

Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
→ Captain Squid!