Travel Jokes

It only rains twice a year in Seattle:
August through April and May through July.

- How did you find the weather on your vacation?

- I just went outside and there it was!

If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter.

- I just got some news, Mom - he said.

- The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?

- What do I think? - his mother said.

- Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!

What happens when the fog lifts in California?
→ UCLA.

How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Ranier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.

A postcard home: The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

Two Viking invaders are trudging up the beach in the pouring rain. One looks skywards and says, "So this is England. What's it like?" The other snarls, "Well, if you like the weather, you'll love the food."

Why is it so wet in Great Britain?
→ Because of all the kings and queens that reigned (rained) there.

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
→ Because it's a 'mane-lion' station!