Sport Jokes — worst jokes

Two teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking.
After a while the boy stops. "You know we've been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it's time we went all the way," he pleads.

"Well, maybe," she says, "But I'm a virgin and I heard it hurts. Besides all those people at the field may hear us." The boy stops and says, "Hmmm, well then if it hurts, start making cow sounds, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing. That way no one will ever guess what we're really doing." The girl agrees so they quickly take off their clothes and get down to business. Ten minutes later people watching the game hear sounds echoing through the quiet countryside so loudly that the teams stop playing.
"Moooo ..... Moooooo ...... Moooooooon River .......!"

- My brother's a professional boxer.

- Heavyweight?

- No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death!

Why are burglars such good tennis players?
→ Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

What did the cow wear to the football game?
→ A Jersey.

Soderling, the star college halfback, was taking a math exam.

The coach desperately needed him to play in the Syracuse game on Saturday, so the professor agreed to give him an oral exam.

"All right," said the prof. "How many degrees are there in a circle?"

"Uh, depends," said the boy. "How big is that there circle?"

Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. "I'd like the bathroom done in white!"

Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, "Green up! Green up!"

"I want the bedroom in blue!" continued the woman.

The contractor listened and yelled out the window, "Green up! Green up!"

"The halls should be done in beige!" she instructed.
Again, the man barked out the window, "Green up! Green up!"

"Will you stop that?!" shouted the woman. "Every time I give you a color, all you do is shout 'Green up!' What the devil does that mean?"

"I'm real sorry, ma'am!" explained Corbett. "But I got three Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin' to put in the front lawn!"

A survey was being taken on the University of Arizona campus.

The survey taker asked a soccer player, "What do you think of bilingualism?"

"Oh, I think it's okay," said the boy, "if it's between consenting adults."

There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter.

Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?
→ A dope ring.