Festival Jokes — worst jokes

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
11. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
12. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
13. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
14. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
15. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
16. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
17. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
18. Less guilt the morning after.
19. YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

I never actually grasped the whole "Trick or treat" ultimatum.

Giving candy to grateful, adorable children or receiving a bag of flaming animal excrement on your doorstep - is this a choice?

Jerry Seinfeld

What kind of witch goes to the beach?
→ Sandwitch

Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches?
→ It's called The Hex-Files.

Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust?
→ The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.

Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition?
→ She was beaten by the microphone stand.

What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
→ I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!

What did the young witch say to her mother?
→ Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?
→ The witch!