Gender Jokes — worst jokes

The Top Ten Things Men Know About Women:
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
(ATTENTION... if you don't get it, seek help fast :)

What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian?
→ One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!

What's the definition of a perfect woman?

a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.

b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.

c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.

Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you would offend the person standing near you?...

NOT. Well, if you are, then here are some alternatives to some popular phrases.

I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one.

She is not: An airhead
She is: Reality Impaired

She is not: A Bleached Blonde
She is: Peroxide Dependant

She is not: A babe or chick
She is: A Breasted American

She does not have: Major league hooters
She is: Pectorally Superior

She does not have: A Great Tan
She is: Pigmentally Enhanced

You do not want to: Score or pick her up
You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter

She is not: A perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior

She does not have: A great butt
She has: A Superior Posterior

If she does not want to get: Married or hitched
She does not want: Domestic Incarceration

She is not: Half naked
She is: Wardrobe Impaired

She does not have: A perfect body
She is: Anatomically Gifted

She is not: Drunk or tipsy
She is: Chemically Inconvenienced

She is not: Small or short
She is: Vertically Challenged

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

Why are women such bad drivers?
→ Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!

God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg." Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What could I get for a rib?"

Why did God create man before woman?
→ He didn't want any advice.