Women Jokes — worst jokes

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
→ You can unscrew a light bulb!

How does a women hold her liquor?
→ By the ears.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
→ So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return.

One time the wife had had enuff and actually pounded on the wall between the two apartments. There being no response she telephoned, only to get the answering machine. Finally she went to the model's door and just kept ringing the bell.

When the model answered, the wife fumed, "I would like to know why it is my husband takes so damn long to get something over here."

"Well sweetie," the model purred, "all these interruptions sure ain't helping none either."

The Top Ten Things Men Know About Women:
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
(ATTENTION... if you don't get it, seek help fast :)

What's the definition of a perfect woman?

a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.

b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.

c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.

What's the white stuff you find in the bottom of girls' undies?
→ Clitty litter.

Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you would offend the person standing near you?...

NOT. Well, if you are, then here are some alternatives to some popular phrases.

I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one.

She is not: An airhead
She is: Reality Impaired

She is not: A Bleached Blonde
She is: Peroxide Dependant

She is not: A babe or chick
She is: A Breasted American

She does not have: Major league hooters
She is: Pectorally Superior

She does not have: A Great Tan
She is: Pigmentally Enhanced

You do not want to: Score or pick her up
You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter

She is not: A perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior

She does not have: A great butt
She has: A Superior Posterior

If she does not want to get: Married or hitched
She does not want: Domestic Incarceration

She is not: Half naked
She is: Wardrobe Impaired

She does not have: A perfect body
She is: Anatomically Gifted

She is not: Drunk or tipsy
She is: Chemically Inconvenienced

She is not: Small or short
She is: Vertically Challenged

What's the best way to kill a man?
→ Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one

What do jello and a woman have in common?
→ They both wiggle when you eat them.