Random joke from this category
TOP 10 REASONS SOCCER IS BETTER THAN SEX...10. BALLS ARE ALWAYS CHECKED FOR FIRMNESS 9. PERIODS ONLY LAST 45 MINUTES8. PARENTS CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE7. SOCCER IS A LEGAL PROFESSION 6. PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT CAN BE WASHED AND REUSED 5. SIZE DOESN'T MATTER 4. IF YOU GET TOO ROUGH YOU GET A RED CARD 3. YOU CAN SCORE USING YOUR HEAD OR YOUR FEET 2. LASTS A FULL 90 MINUTES1. YOU CAN JUGGLE YOUR BALLS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER
TOP 10 REASONS BASKETBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...10. BALL MOVEMENT IS KEY 9. YOU CAN SET IT UP OR GO FOR THE FASTBREAK8. IF YOU NEED A BREAK, YOU CAN CALL A 20 SECOND TIMEOUT 7. THERE IS A COACH TELLING YOU WHEN TO "TAKE IT TO THE HOLE"6. BEING DOUBLE-TEAMED IS COMMON5. YOU CAN PASS IT OFF, SO YOUR BUDDY CAN SCORE 4. IF SCOUTS LIKE YOUR PERFORMANCE, YOU TURN PRO 3. YOU KNOW YOU ARE DONE WHEN THE HORN SOUNDS 2. YOU ALWAYS TRY TO SCORE WITHIN 24 SECONDS 1. THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE WITH A TOWEL TO CLEAN UP ANY WET SPOTS
Is It Better To Be a Jock or a Nerd?$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.$ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.$ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.$ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.$ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.$ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.$ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.$ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.$ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.$ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.$ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.$ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.$ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.$ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it? However...$ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
R.A.P.:RetardsAttemptingPoetry
Isn't it fnuny taht yuo cna sitll raed tihs massege enve touhgh ist speelld inocretcly?
OLL! :p
During my college days i went to participateslow bicycle race competetion, I came first in the competetion, when i went to claim mytrophy, my principal kicked me out from hisoffice saying that the trophy goes to theperson who came in the last, because itsSLOW BICYCLE RACE.
During my college days there was a competitionfor cross country race that was around 8 kms.to my surprise i found my best friend JHON whowas too lazy and never use to take part in anycompetition came first in that race. when he reachedthe finishing line, me and my friends went towish him. I told him "Jhon u made it and u provedthat u can win the race too." but Jhon insteadshouted at me and said " WHO LET THE DOG BESIDE ME"
my wife is too afraid of cockroaches,one fine day i heard scream of my wife.she saw a cockroach and was screaming. i asked her totake the killing spray and to spray on the cockroach.she took the spray and turned to me and said,"THIS SPRAY IS ONLY TO KILL THE MUSQUITOS," andhow can it works for the cockroach,I said to her. "Don't show the lable to the cockroach"
Along time ago two Scottsmen are in a pub.
One scottsman says, "I'm going to invent a game." The second man asks, "What do you have to do?" The first man says, "You have to get a ball in a hole."
The second man asks, "So it's like billiards?"
The first man says, "No, its going to be much farther away."
The second man asks "So, it's somthing like bowling?"
The first man says, "No, it's going to be played on grass, and it's going to twist and turn."
So the second man asks, "So it's kind of like croquet?"
The first man says, "NO, I'm going to put in tall grass, and water, and sand, and trees, just to piss you off!"
So the second man asks, "So you do this once?"
The first man replies, "NO, you do it EIGHTEEN TIMES!!"
Three guys from Carolina died and went to hell.
Satan went to check on them and saw that they had their shirts off and didn't mind the heat, so he turned up the heat. He went to check on them again and he saw that they were in their boxers and they still didn't mind the heat. Satan went and turned the temperature down to minus twenty.
Satan went to check on them and he saw that they were in their coats cheering. He went up to them and asked why they were cheering. One of them yelled out "Hell froze over, the Hurricanes must have won the cup!"
