Miscellaneous — worst jokes

How did Moses part the Red Sea?

With a seesaw!

What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?

Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

Q. Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony? A. The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and nine doughnuts at the same time.

Q. Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony? A. The one who can eat the last doughnut.

What does ADIDAS stand for?

All Day I Dream About Sex.

How do you tell two KKK members apart?

Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....

How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto?

Fill the gas tank!

Four men are golfing one day. The first man steps up to tee and states boastfully "My son is so rich that he bought his lover a house".

The second man steps up to tee and says, "Well, MY son is so rich that he bought his lover a new car". The third man steps up and says, "My son is so wealthy that he bought his lover a whole summer home in Miami."

Finally, the fourth man goes to tee and he says, "Well, my son isn't rich and self-made like yours and he's gay, and from what I hear, despite my objections, he has 3 separate lovers and from them he just got a new house, a new car, and a summer home in Miami."

10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer:10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s hard to type with paws)9. 'Sit' and 'stay' were hard enough; 'delete' and 'save' are out of the question.8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.7. Carpal Paw Syndrome.6. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he`s browsing www.purina.com or the '50 ways to skin a cat' sites.5. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrates.4. Can`t help attacking the screen when he hears, 'you`ve got mail'.3. Too messy to mark every Web site he visits.2. Fetch command not available on all platforms.1. Can`t stick his head out of Windows XP.

Patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?

An insurance company.