Sex

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like ayoung girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man andasks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says."90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"

"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

A question for Bill Clinton:"What was Miss Lewinsky's most memorable feature?"

"She has the whitest teeth I've ever come across"

What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter?

One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women."

"Yeah what happened?" asked his friend.

The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."

What's the purpose of a bellybutton?

To put your gum in on the way down.

Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?- Hundred dollars, as usual.

What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!

Definition of bad lover:An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.

A doctor's advice to young bride regarding the use of the diaphragm: "Use it on every conceivable occasion."

There's an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, "For five dollars, I'll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I'll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I'll take you to my room, light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of passion you'll never forget."

The woman considers it a moment and then, after fishing through her purse, produces a twenty dollar bill. The man says, "So, you want the romantic night in my room, eh?" The woman replies, "No, I want four times in the rocker."