Worst jokes

If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them:

- Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes

- Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes

- Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males

- Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait

- Bimbag - a blonde's purse

- Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag

- Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes

- Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes

- Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard

- Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything

- Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook

- Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her

- Bimboette - a young blonde

- Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else

- Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes

- Bimboozle - to fool a blonde

- Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence

- Bimbozo - another name for a blonde

- Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes

- Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde

- Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is

- Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

- You can't get out of your room? - the captain asked:

- Why not?

The stewardess replied:

- There are only three doors in here - she cried:

- one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!!

A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box. She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that. The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".

A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?
→ The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump. When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete. When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away. When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

- She called me to get my phone number.

- She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

- She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

- She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

- She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

- She tried to drown a fish.

- She thought a quarterback was a refund.

- She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

- She tripped over a cordless phone.

- She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

- She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

- She studied for a blood test.

- She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

- When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

- When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

- When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

Why did the blonde cross the road?
→ I don't know. Neither did he.

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

- How did this happen? - the emergency room doctor asked her.

- Well, I was trying to commit suicide - the blonde replied.

- What? - sputtered the doctor. You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?

- No, Silly! - the blonde said. First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.

- And then?

- Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.

- And then?

- Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

She says:

- What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!

One of the Blondes looks up and says:

- Yeah, but you've got a driver!

Did you hear about the blonde that...

- Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

- Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years".

- Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

- When asked what the capital of California was answered "C".

- Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

- After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.