Worst jokes

A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money. She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps. The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps.

The blonde throws up her money, and yells:

- God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't I get to keep.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel.

- I hear sirens. Jump! - said the first one.

- But we're on the 13th floor! - said the second one.

- This is no time to be superstitious - the first one screamed back.

Two secretaries were talking about their work.

- I hate filing - said one. No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I'm looking for. I forget where I have filed them.

- I used to have that problem too, but no more - her blonde friend said. Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can't miss it!

Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
→ To avoid the draft.

A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the Empire State Building. How do you tell them apart?
→ The bleached blonde would never throw bread to the helicopters.

WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
→ She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
→ She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
→ You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
→ Tell them a joke on Friday night!

How do you describe the perfect blonde?
→ 3 feet tall, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

How do you confuse a blonde?
→ You don't. They're born that way.

Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
→ They're too hard to peel.

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
→ You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
→ Proofreading.

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
→ For throwing out the W's.

Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
→ Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?
→ He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
→ Shine a flashlight in her ear!

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
→ She opens the car door.