Random joke from this category
TOP 10 REASONS HOCKEY IS BETTER THAN SEX...
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
TOP 10 REASONS BASEBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...
What is the difference between baseball and law?
→ In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Just like they did every day.
Abe turned to Sol and asked, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Soloman thought about it for a minute and replied, "I dunno, Abe, but let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you -- and if you die first, you come back and tell me -- if there is baseball in heaven."
They shook on it.
Sadly, a few months later poor Abe passed on. One day soon afterward, Sol was sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he heard a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."
Sol responded, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is Sol," whispered the spirit of Abe.
Sol, still amazed, asked, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well," Abe said, "I got good news and I got bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," said Sol.
Abe said, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."
Sol said, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighed and whispered, "You're pitching on Friday."
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet."
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the year, and everyone is yelling and screaming. One of the President's cabinet advisors whispers advice into his ear, at which point Bill stands up and throws Hillary out onto the field. The crowd goes deathly silent and the advisor says, "No, sir, what I said was, they want you to throw out the first pitch."
Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?
→ He couldn't face defeet!!
Why isn't Mexico in the olympics?...
→ Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border..
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
