Random joke from this category
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."
"What on earth do you mean???"
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead. She says, 'What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!'
One of the blondes looks up and says, 'Yeah, but you've got a driver!'
How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
→ She fell out of the tree.
How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
→ She was run over by the zambonis machine.
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.
"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too."
"Very clever!" remarks the other patron.
Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?"
"Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being refered to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?"
"Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!"
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
→ He heard the referee calling fowls
What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
→ The road.
- I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday.
- Farcical?
Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said:
'I didn't think we'd make it!' Jill replied,
'Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down!'
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?
→ Because it was two-tyred.
