Medicine — worst jokes

What does a girl with bulimia call two fingers?
→ Desert.

A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.

He says, "You have acute vaginitis."

She says "Thank you."

A new medical study has shown that a woman's breast-feeding isn't adversely affected by aerobics. It was found, however, to be pretty distracting to guys in the class.

- Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what I just said.

- When did you first notice this problem?

- What problem?

This male prostitute contracted leprosy.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.

"It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week."

"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor.

"Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night."

"No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?"

"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

This male prostitute contracted syphilis.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist's office instead and weaves over to the receptionist.

Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, "Stick it through that curtain."

Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtains.

"That's not a foot!" screams the nurse on duty.

"Holy shit, lady!" the drunk exclaims, "I never knew you had a minimum!"

What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
→ Throw in a load of laundry.

What should you give a man who has everything?
→ Penicillin