Random joke from this category
- I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?
- Do begin with the bad news, please.
- Alright. Your son has drowned, your daughter has been raped, your wife has divorced you, your house got blown away, and you have AIDS.
- Good grief! What's the good news?
- The good news is that there is no more bad news.
- I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first?
- Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first, I guess.
- You only have one week left to live.
- Oh no! What good news can you possibly tell me now?
- Well, you know that really hot-looking nurse who just came in here? I'm taking her out to dinner tonight, and who knows where the night will end!
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
- Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
- Well, give me the really bad news first.
- You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
- And the bad news?
- You have Alzheimer's disease.
- Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
- Well, give me the bad news first.
- You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
- OH NO! That's awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???
- You also have Alzheimer's... In three months you'll forget everything I told you.
What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?
- Did you take the patient's temperature?
- No. Is it missing?
- Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
- No change yet.
- Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
- How do you feel?
- A little down in the mouth.
- Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?
- Sell!
- Have you ever had this before?
- Yes.
- Well, you've got it again.
