Food Jokes — worst jokes

What's a cat's favorite food?
→ Petatoes!

Why did the doughnut maker retire?
→ He was fed up with the hole business.

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him:

- Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!

- Really? - he said.

Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says:

- Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?

The clerk replies:

- Canned or frozen?

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order!

When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!

The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen. He runs up to the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills down on it and says:

- You got me this time buddy, but I want you to know that's the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread!

Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
→ He wanted a balanced meal.

- First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our hut tonight.

- Second cannibal: What are you having?

- First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
→ He was on a diet!

What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast?
→ Weedie Bix!!

What's the definition of a cannibal?
→ Someone who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

How can you help a starving cannibal?
→ Give them a hand!