Doctor Jokes — worst jokes

One day, a man walked into the dentist's office for some dental work.

The dentist said, "Sir, you have a tooth I must pull, What type of pain killer would you like?"

The man looked at the dentist and said, "None, thanks, I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life."

The dentist said, "Sir, pulling this tooth Will be painful, I suggest a painkiller."

The man looked back at the dentist and said, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, Nothing else will ever compare."

The dentist said, "Sir, I'm telling you, use a painkiller."

The man again said to the dentist, "I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, I do not need painkillers, now pull the tooth."

The dentist then said, "Okay, You asked for it, But first, tell me what was the second greatest pain in your life?"

The man said, "Yes, I remember it well. I was hunting in some woods north of here one snowy day. Walking through the woods, the urge came upon me and I headed over to a tree. Well, I started to do my thing, and when the first part dropped, It set off a large bear trap that was hidden in the snow that closed on my balls. That was the second greatest pain in my life."

The dentist then said, "Ouch! But then what was the first greatest pain in your life?"

The man replied, "When I reached the end of the chain."

Dr. Dave's Dental-Chair Discovery: Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.

Dentist begging the patient:

- Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

- Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.

- There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game!

A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back: ...and I will fill your cavity.

A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked.

While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, "Have you done oral sex lately?"

The man replied, "Why yes, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Have you found a pubic hair stuck in my tooth?"

The dentist says, "No, not quite. You've got some shit on the end of your nose!"

What do you call a depressed dentist?
→ A little down in the mouth.

A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth.

"Aha, cavity! I'll have to drill this one out!" says the dentist.

"Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!!" cries the lady.

"In that case, I will have to adjust the chair first" replies the dentist.

- I have some bad news and some very bad news.

- Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

- The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

- 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

- I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

- I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?

- Do begin with the bad news, please.

- Alright. Your son has drowned, your daughter has been raped, your wife has divorced you, your house got blown away, and you have AIDS.

- Good grief! What's the good news?

- The good news is that there is no more bad news.

- I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first?

- Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first, I guess.

- You only have one week left to live.

- Oh no! What good news can you possibly tell me now?

- Well, you know that really hot-looking nurse who just came in here? I'm taking her out to dinner tonight, and who knows where the night will end!