Doctor Jokes — most commented jokes

A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.

She smiled and gushed:

- Well, hello there Doc. and kept right on going.

After a moment's pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said:

- Don't worry dear, that's just a young lady I know professionally.

Without missing a beat, his wife asked:

- Hers or Yours ?

A guy goes to his doctor and says:

- Doc, I have a problem. My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday. I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all.

The doctor says:

- You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out.

The man says:

- You have a deal Doc.

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

The doctor asks:

- What happened?

The man answered:

- Nobody showed up!

- Doctor Sawbones speaking.

- Oh, doctor, my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three or four weeks' time?

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
→ With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

- There's something wrong with my hot dogs.

- Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him:

- Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.

Steve says:

- Will that keep me from getting sick?

The doctor says:

- No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.

Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood, and said, 'Who's a pretty boy then?'!

- Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

- Drink this glass of water.

- Will it make me better?

- No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist?
→ He wanted to improve his bite.

What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"