Doctor Jokes — most commented jokes

A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.

She smiled and gushed, "Well, hello there Doc." and kept right on going.

After a moment's pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, "Don't worry dear, that's just a young lady I know professionally."

Without missing a beat, his wife asked, "Hers or Yours ?"

A guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I have a problem. My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday. I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."

The doctor says, "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out."

The man says, "You have a deal Doc."

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

The doctor asks, "What happened?"

The man answered, "Nobody showed up!"

- Doctor Sawbones speaking.

- Oh, doctor, my girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three or four weeks' time?

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
→ With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

- There's something wrong with my hot dogs.

- Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, "Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."
Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?"
The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."

Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood, and said, 'Who's a pretty boy then?'!

- Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

- Drink this glass of water.

- Will it make me better?

- No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist?
→ He wanted to improve his bite.

What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"