Random joke from this category
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
- Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
- Well, give me the really bad news first.
- You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
- And the bad news?
- You have Alzheimer's disease.
- Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
- Well, give me the bad news first.
- You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
- OH NO! That's awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???
- You also have Alzheimer's... In three months you'll forget everything I told you.
- We need to get these people to a hospital!
- What is it?
- It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now.
- Did you take the patient's temperature?
- No. Is it missing?
- Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
- No change yet.
- Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
- How do you feel?
- A little down in the mouth.
- Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?
- Sell!
- Have you ever had this before?
- Yes.
- Well, you've got it again.
- My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
- A shoebox?
- Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
- Tell me about your problem.
- I just did, didn't I, you stupid bastard!!!!!
