Christmas Jokes — worst jokes

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
→ Best vicious of the season

- I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas!

- Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!

- That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!

- Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!

- I'm on my way, Father Christmas.

- Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!

- That's all right! There's only one foot of snow!

A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.
They must have had sharp ears!
They were mountain-ears!

I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory. 'Have you passed?' I asked.
Father Christmas pointing proudly to the front of the sleigh. 'See for yourself!' he called proudly. 'No-el plates!'

What does Father Christmas call his money?
→ Iced lolly?

One time Father Christmas lost his underpants.
That's how he got the name Saint Knickerless!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
→ Santa Jaws!

How long does it take to burn a candle down?
→ About a wick!

What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song?
→ Jungle bells.