Christmas Jokes — worst jokes

A rabbit's favourite Christmas song?
→ 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'

A football supporter's favourite Christmas song?
→ 'Yule never walk alone'

What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song?
→ 'Oh comb all ye faithful'

What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game?
→ Mean-opoly.

Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.
Why did he do that?
→ He was trying to save time!

- Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp.

- Father Christmas: That's called 'The Wizard of Ooze'!

- Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story?

- Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees!

- Father Christmas: You mean 'The Three Little Figs'.

- Father Christmas: I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny.

- Elf: That's Little Red Robin Hood'!

- Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story?

- Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge!

- Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!

- Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.

- Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.