Sex Jokes — worst jokes

What's the difference between hard and light?
→ You can sleep with a light on.

A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.

They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible -- best sex he'd ever had.

He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room.

A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think her orgasm's stuck!"

This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas."

"Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.

She says, "Is this the first pussy you've seen since you crawled out of one?"

The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."

On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."

"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."

"Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs."

"Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room."

So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and fall to the sidewalk. A passing drunk looks them over, staggers to the door, and knocks.

"Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks in here!"

"I don't want in," says the drunk. "I just wanted to tell you that your sign fell down."

So one sperm says to the other, "When do we get to the ovaries?"

The other replies, "Ovaries! We're not even past the throat yet!"

What's another term for cunnilingus?
→ Genital Slurpees.

What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
→ A man will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
→ Just when it's getting interesting they are finished until next time...

What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 30 centimeter dick?
→ Nothing.... They all make your eyes water.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball???
→ She choked...