Science — worst jokes

Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide optical fibre network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilisation, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").

In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."

So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."

Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."

Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened.
He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion:
"Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing."

What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments?
→ Labs!

What is a double-blind study?
→ Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.

How do you embarrass an archeologist?
→ Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
→ They're doing research on black holes.

Why was the robber bionic?
→ He was holding up a bank.

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
→ A cow that can milk itself!

What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
→ Steer Wars.

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
→ The first herd shot round the world!