Science — worst jokes

I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk!
→ But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature."

The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!

"What else do you have?" asks the student.

"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"

The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment." He goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter.

"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.

The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know ... math always was a little hard to swallow."

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?
→ Something from another universe-ity!

- Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon?

- Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?
→ He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow?
→ To study economics.

Clinton goes around telling people we humans are genetically 99.9% similar.
Apparently the 0.1% is the character gene.

If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north, in which direction is the smoke blowing?
→ There is no smoke from an electric train!

- Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing?

- Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

How are UFO's related to hamburgers?
→ Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!