Science — worst jokes

- The brain is a wonderful thing

- Why do you say that?

- Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"

"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir," the boys said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

When is a pig an ecologist?
→ When he recycles garbage into ham.

Pig's explanation for the creation of the Universe:
The Pig Bang Theory.

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first?
→ Who cares!

Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet?
→ To boldly go where no man has been before!

What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
→ Mouse code!

What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
→ Stalagmice!