Redneck Jokes — worst jokes

Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia?
→ Well God found plenty of guys who liked to deal with sheep, but he could'nt find three wise men or a virgin.

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.

"Why so glum, Chum?" asked the kindly stranger.

"If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?"

Ever hear of the redneck who thought that "Manual Labor" was the new Mexican President?

Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly. "Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do.
One: Take out your penie-pipe.
Two: Pull back the foreskin.
Three: Pee.
Four: Push back your foreskin.
Five: Put your equipment back."

The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!"

"Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said.

"I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' 'Two-four, two-four, two-four......'"

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
→ Everyone has the same DNA.

What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common?
→ Someone's going to lose their trailer...

A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.

He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?"

The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".

He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"

The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."

Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
→ 3 dollars a year for a million years.

Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "A brave New Yorker saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not from New York" the boy replies.

"I'm visiting from Kentucky!"

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet".

What did the redneck get on his I.Q. test?
→ Drool.