Random joke from this category
"Old Jethro's next door's a-makin' moonshine again." the wife told her husband.
"How can you tell ?" he asked. "Did you smell it ?"
"Nope. But a bunch of mice from over to his place came over here this morning and beat the shit out of our cats . . ."
Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone.
"He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."
A hill country husband died and left everything to his wife.
He put a provision in his will though that she couldn't touch any of it until she turned 14.
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."
- The receptionist: What are you, an idiot?
- Redneck: Why, is it required?
A REDNECK BRINGS HIS DAUGHTER TO THE GYNOCOLOGIST FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.
THE DR. ASKS, "IS YOUR DAUGHTER SEXUALLY ACTIVE?"
THE REDNECK SAYS, "NAW, SHE JUST LAYS THERE LIKE HER MOTHER."
This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, "Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s'pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!"...
So he got his bowling ball and threw it in the outhouse!
What do you call foreplay in Alabama?
→ 'Hey sis, you awake?'
Mongo's old lady decided she wanted to do something special to please him on his birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night, as he came into the house, she lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle.
"Hi hon," she purred sexily. "Y'all want some of this?"
"Hell, no!" he hollered. "Look at what it's done to your undies!"
Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb."
His friend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those 'loose women' ya always hear about."
"You don't say," said the first man. "Bet that was costly."
"Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk."
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
