Political Jokes — worst jokes

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth...

Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.

- Hillary: So have you found dating to be a fulfilling experience?

- Chelsea: It's okay..but i don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.

- Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?

- Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.

Why doesn't Hillary wear short dress?
→ Her balls would show.

What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford?
→ I did not have textual relations with that woman.

They just found out Clinton's been stuffing turf in his underpants.

They're for grass roots support.

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are selling this year?
→ They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.

What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?
→ The white house's pool table

What does Bill say to prospective interns?
→ "Haven't I cum across your face before?"

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice.

Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse till finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realised to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees.

As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her president whisper in a barely audible voice, "sack my cook".

And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

Did you hear what Monica Lewinskys' mother said when she brought home her dress?
→ What, doesn't the White House have any club soda?