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Tornado News Habit
Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS?
→ It is a no spin zone
Political Jokes — most commented jokes
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Random joke from this category
Guest
Hurricane Andrew Aid
I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all, both Florida and Louisiana have oil.
Rudolph The Red
There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said:
- It looks like a storm is coming.
- No it isn't - said his wife.
- Besides, how would you know?
- Because - he responded:
- Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
The Governor's Gun
Early Texas governors were not very well educated. There was once a chief executive who thought "grammar" was his father's mother.
On one occasion this governor went hunting and forgot his gun. He phoned his secretary and asked him to send the gun.
- The phone connection's bad - said the secretary.
- I couldn't catch that last word. Spell it.
The governor replied:
- 'G' like in Jesus; 'U' like in onion; 'N' like in pneumonia GUN, you damn fool!
Guest
Civil Serpent
What do you call a snake who works for the governement?
→ A civil serpent!
Super Salesman On The Bridge
A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled:
- Wait, Fellow! Please don't do that!!!
- Why not? - the salesman said, and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics.
Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.
Help The Church
A minister was asked by a politician:
- Name something the government can do to help the church.
The minister replied:
- Quit making one dollar bills.
Guest
Good Morning, Mr. Mayor
- Cop: Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?
- Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning, Mr. Mayor."
- Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.
Dialing 9-1-1
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
- American: In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police.
- Russian: In Russia we don't require that you dial anything.
Guest
Traffic Jam Donations
Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.
He said:
- It's Al Gore. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations.
- Donations! - I said.
- How much you got so far?
He said:
- about ten gallons.