Political Jokes — worst jokes

Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?
→ They both have, "incert Bill"!

One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, "I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you something else." So clinton takes the perscription and takes the pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in 3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says, "Rub this around the offending circle and come back tomorrow." Clinton returns the next day and starts shouting, "Wow! That stuff was terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!"

The docter then calmly replied; "Lipstick remover."

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had??
→ An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results.

Clinton was a perfect match.

So was all of Arkansas.

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?
→ It may never be proven but they think she may be the youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency.

What has four legs and smells like fish?
→ Clinton's desk.

Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
→ To keep his ankles warm.

One gay man says to the other, did you hear Newt Gingrich is coming out?

"Really?" the second gay man says, "that's amazing!"

The first gay man says, "yeah we're lucky, he's only coming out of Congress, would you wanna sleep with him?"

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"

"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.

- And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?

"The same exact thing," the guard answered.

- Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?

- Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!

How big is Bill Clinton's Penis?
→ Not as big as Hillary's