Medicine — worst jokes

Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day?
→ To prevent bat breath.

What did one tooth say to the other?
→ Get your cap on, the dentist is taking us out tonight.

What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out?
→ He ate the dentist.

Why didn't the monster use toothpaste?
→ Because he said his teeth weren't loose.

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"

"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

What do you call a sick extraterrestrial?
→ An ailin' alien.

What do you give a sick snake?
→ Asp-rin!

What do you call a python with a great bedside manner?
→ A snake charmer!

- Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?

- Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

- Teacher: Can't you retain anything in your head overnight?

- Pupil: Of course, I've had this cold in my head for two days!