Medicine — worst jokes

What did the tooth say to the dentist?
→ "Fill 'er up!"

What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
→ "Thar's gold in them thar fills."

Why is 4,840 square yards like a bad tooth?
→ Because it is an acre.

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.

"Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.

The man then said, "I have another pair - try these."

The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them."

The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."

With that he ate his meal and gave his speech.

After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?
→ One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

What comes out at night and goes Munch, munch, ouch!
→ A vampire with a rotten tooth.

- What sort of an act do you do?

- I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth.

- Anything else?

- Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.

- Patient: Tell me honestly, how am I?

- Dentist: Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?
→ Your teeth.

Why do you forget a tooth, as soon as the dentist pulls it out?
→ Because it goes right out of your head.