Medicine — worst jokes

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
→ She didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!

Where do blind sparrows go for treatment?
→ The Birds Eye counter!

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
→ The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

What do you give a sick bird?
→ Tweetment!

- Witch: Doctor, doctor, I don't feel well.

- Doctor: Don't worry, you'll just have to go to bed for a spell.

- Doctor, doctor, I keep dreaming there are great, gooey, bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do?

- Hide the tiddley winks.

- Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.

- Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed.

- Oh, I'm all right at night, it's in the day I have problems.

A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head.
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I've no idea what it is."
The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom.
"I'm stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these pills."
When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head.
"Ah!" said the doctor, "I know what it is. You've got a beauty spot."

- Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning.

- Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor.

- Doctor: You do?

- Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Siamese Twins Barbie ...complete with surgical instruments