Medicine — worst jokes

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
→ He has cat-arrh!

What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory?
→ You can hear a cough drop.

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."

The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.

The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.

The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."

The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."

The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth...try them."

The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.

After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.

"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."

The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
→ Vitamin bills!

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
→ One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.

- Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

- Boy: Because he read the label, and it said 'shake well before using.'

Aching Joints by Arthur Itis

Hair Disorders by Dan Druff

My Years in a Lunatic Asylum by I. M. Nutty

What can save a dying blonde?
→ Hair transplants.