Dirty Jokes — worst jokes

The world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old.

Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately 8:42PM last evening.

Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and going and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and relatives, was alone at the time of his death.

An autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation.

Apparently, someone had put Mr. Bunny's batteries in backwards, and he kept coming, and coming and coming.....

What do you see when the pillsbary dough boy bends over?
→ Doughnuts

Why can't Santa have children?
→ He only comes once a year.

Why can't Frankenstein have children?
→ Because his nuts are on his neck.

A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said:

- I am blind drop it on the ground and i'll tell ya.

She dropped it on the ground.

- Aahh that's 10.00.

She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, she really wanted the pole so she picked it up. And went to pay for it.

- That will be 20.00

- But you said 10.00

- 10.00 extra for the stink bait and duck call.

Why do farts smell?
→ So deaf people can enjoy them too.

What is the definition of Agony?
→ A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
→ Her knickers fit her like a glove!

Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
→ Neither did he.

One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.

When one couple arrived he announced:

- Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

As the next couple arrived he announced:

- Tarzan and Jane

and so on as each guest arrived.

Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.

- Who do you think you are? - demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS department The doorman asked:

- How shall I announce you?

The man said:

- I'm premature ejaculation

- I'm very sorry sir - said the doorman in obvious shock.

- I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.

- O.K. - said the professor.

- Just say I came in my pants