Computer Jokes — worst jokes

Why does a blonde have curtains on her PC?
→ To open windows

How can you tell a blonde has been working on the computer?
→ There is white out on the screen

How do you know a blond has been using your computer?
→ When the joy stick is wet!

What's the difference between a computer and a blonde?
→ The computer is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

How do you know when a blonde has been working on your computer?
→ There's white out on the screen and lipstick on the joystick!

The Perfect Worker1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the reportsent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numberedlines.

Build Vocabulary. Read up on some computer magazines andpick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely whenin conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have tounderstand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer,it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send andreceive personal e-mail, calculate your finances andgenerally have a blast without doing anything remotelyrelated to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefitsthat the proponents of the computer revolution would like totalk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught byyour boss -and you will get caught - your best defence isto claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thussaving valuable training dollars.

- Boss: My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?

- Dilbert: Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot.

- Boss: Oh, that's right.

- Wally: I wonder if he'll ever realise we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."

So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer -- and be the butt of any joke on the internet.