Worst jokes

Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

- Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places?

- Vanderkron: I wouldn't go to these places no more!

Did you hear about the dumb father who got up and struck a match to see if he had blown out the candle?

- Loomis: Does your dog have a license?

- Fenton: Hell, no! I do all the drivin'.

- Say, your house is burning.

- That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.

- Housekeeper: Professor, there's a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldn't believe me.

- Professor: No? Then I suppose I'll have to go and tell him myself.

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Change it to what?

- Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder?

- Harry: What did the sign say?

- Fred: Stop.

Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player?
His horse drowned . . .

A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting:

- Don't dive - there's no water in that pool!

- That's all right - said the man.

- I can't swim!