Worst jokes

A blonde and a redhead were sitting together having drinks, when the blonde noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses.

The blonde says to the redhead:

- isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?

The redhead says, yes it is.

The blonde responds by saying:

- Oh you are so lucky.

The redhead says:

- No I'm not. All that means is that I have to spend the whole week-end flat on my back, with my legs in the air and spread apart.

The blonde says:

- Oh my, don't you have a vase to put them in?

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.

"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

- Me: Hey, Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row?

- Donna: I dunno. How?

- Me: Tell her the same dumb blonde joke twice in a row.

- Me: Hey Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row?

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
→ The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
→ A rebel without a clue!

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him:

- Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian.

The blonde goes over to her anyway and says:

- So which part of Lesbia are you from?

A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said:

- I would like a cheeseburger.

The librarian replied:

- Shh! This is a library!

The blonde blushed. oh, sorry.. then she whispered:

- I would like a cheeseburger.

Why can't the blonde put in a light bulb?
→ She kept breaking them with the hammer.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "You can change those things?!"

How does a blonde change a lightbulb?
→ She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."