Worst jokes

Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted!

What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
→ When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you!

There was no action at the White House the past few days, hear about this?

Yea, I guess it was labeled a "No Open Fly" zone!

How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

How many right-to-lifers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. Two to screw it in, and one to confirm that light began while they were screwing.

A scientist had been keeping a secret for over two decades -- he had sucessfully cloned a human being.

He kept meticulous records, raising the clone-child in his laboratory until it was an adult. Then he made his plans to unveil his creation at a meeting of top scientists, held in the luxurious facilities of a high-rise hotel.

When the time for his presentation came, the scientist stepped to the podium. He presented his data -- his pictures, his charts, his graphs -- to an amazed audience. But suddenly, instead of waiting for his cue to come forward, the clone stood up where he'd been sitting, and started shouting at the scientists assembled there.

This clone was an imaginative clone. He used language that would make a sailor blush, accusing his creator and all of his colleagues of the most amazing feats of perversion and vice.

Trying to regain control, the scientist ushered the clone out of the room and up to the roof of the hotel, where he hoped the clone's shouts would go unheard.

The clone would not listen to reason. He attacked the scientist's parentage, his sister, his mother....

Finally, the scientist snapped. He could bear it no longer. He rushed forward and with a mighty shove, pushed his creation off the roof of the hotel.

The police arrived promptly and arrested the scientist for making an obscene clone fall.

A brunette was walking on the railroad tracks saying, "21...21....21...." when a blonde jumped on. A train came and the brunette jumped off...the train hit the blonde. The Brunette then got back onto the tracks and started saying, "22.....22......22....."

Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him:

- Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?

The man said:

- No.

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him:

- This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!

The man replied:

- Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967.

- That's really sad - said Bob.

- but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?

- No - the man replied.

- they're all at the funeral!

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.

The bear turns to the rabbit and asks:

- Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?

The rabbit says:

- No, of course not!

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit!

Why'd the chicken cross the road?
→ He was attached to Dennis Rodman's head!