Sport Jokes — worst jokes

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
→ The scenter spot!

- Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?

- Player: I finished it in three days!

Where do old bowling balls end up?
→ In the gutter!

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
→ So that they can pack the defence!

- Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player.

- Fan: Why's that?

- Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
→ They might be cheetahs!

Why was the struggling manager seen shaking the club cat?
→ To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club.

"Were the crowd not behind you," asked the reporter.

"They were right behind me all right," said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!"

What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball?
→ A bouncing baby boa!

The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11."
"11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred.
"What kind of counting is that?" asked the teacher
"Who's counting?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."