Random joke from this category
A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said, 'I am blind drop it on the ground and i'll tell ya.' She dropped it on the ground.
'Aahh that's 10.00.' She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, she really wanted the pole so she picked it up. And went to pay for it.
'That will be 20.00'
'But you said 10.00'
'10.00 extra for the stink bait and duck call.'
Why are E.T.s eyes so big?
→ Because he saw the phone bill.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
→ To get to the second hand shop.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
→ A stick.
A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor.'
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children.
I'll never forget that game of cards...
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June - Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
