Situations — worst jokes

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.

"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked. "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in."

"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"

"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.

"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

The man walked past the armored car and hears people talking inside. He stepped closer to hear what they were saying: "I see you, and I'll raise you another sixty thousand."

What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?
→ Wipe it off and say you're sorry.

If god had wanted us to run around naked, we would have been born that way.

What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater?
→ "Thats the most violent book I've ever read."

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.

The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.

With all the recent talk of cloning, you'd think it was a new thing.

But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago. The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the madder the father got. One day, the father got so mad he pushed his son off a high cliff. The sheriff arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.

How can you identify an blind pirate?
→ He's the one with patches over both eyes.

Did you hear about that guy who was tap dancing?
→ He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
→ A nervous wreck.